The Best Christmas Present

I feel like I can breathe again, and I didn’t even know I was holding my breath. 

The past (almost) two months have been hard. It all started with getting a large, painless bump on my right big toe checked out and the doctor almost immediately asking me if he could take a picture of it and send it to a colleague. 

From there, it went to MRI results that showed malignant characteristics and an orthopedic oncologist who wanted to see me the following week. Then a rare, aggressive, benign, bone tumor (Giant Cell) that was so large my toe had to be amputated to recovering from that surgery over the Christmas break. 

All of that happened in less than two months. 

So when I received a call from my doctor (Dr. Julia Quirion) on Dec. 23, I honestly wasn’t thinking about any of that. I was enjoying some downtime with my foot up and relaxing, thinking about how good dinner smelled cooking in the crockpot. I hadn’t heard anything after the surgery other than she was really happy with how it went, and she had been able to get the whole tumor out. I figured no news was good news. 

During that call, Dr. Quirion told me the pathology results confirmed she had removed all of the tumor and that there was a zero margin, meaning none of the Giant Cells were present at the outer edge of the tissue where it was removed, i.e. it hadn’t spread and was gone. I was happy shocked. Like I was having a hard time figuring out what to say, but I was happy. (It’s the exact opposite of when you hear bad news and you’re shocked).

I feel like this is the first good news I’ve received from a doctor since 2018 when I had a miscarriage and then the fertility issues that came during the following year (https://ftoside.com/2022/10/19/cornerstone/).

I knew that the results of the preliminary biopsy showed the tumor was benign. Deep down, though, I was still a little bit worried that the surgery would show something worse. After all, that’s what had happened since 2018 when my test results showed a miscarriage.

So when Dr. Quirion called me on Dec. 23 and told me that the pathology had confirmed the benign Giant Cell tumor diagnosis and that it was completely gone, I was very relieved and happy. She said she hoped the news would help my Christmas be better than expected. She was right.

In fact, she gave me the best Christmas present I’ve ever had. The news that I’m okay. 

Even though I had to have my big toe amputated and will probably be facing some life changes because of it, I’m okay. Not only that, but I’m starting to realize that not all doctors are bad. In fact, there are some very good ones out there: for example, Dr. Julia Quirion at Billings Clinic.

So as I am relaxing at the end of this Christmas Day, thinking about my best gift ever, I’m thankful for everything God brought me through this past year (the good, the bad, and the ugly), and I’m looking forward for what’s to come. 

Merry Christmas!!